Saturday, August 27, 2022

Day 5173

 I made the call around 10AM Saturday morning.

After speaking to the oncologist, I finally felt certain that there was no reasonable path forward. I had tried for a week to bring her appetite back with prednisone but all I got was a really thirsty dog who was wasting away. 

She was weak and getting weaker. A part of me wanted to wait, selfishly. After all, she gobbled up her cod dinner just the night before. Another part of me couldn't bear to see her become any more of a shell of her former self.

We stopped at McDonald's on the way over. Andrew ran inside, and I sat in the back seat with the dogs.  

I thanked her. Told her I loved her.

On the ride over, Red curled up next to her and Marge put her head across his back. One of my favorite things that they did on road trips. 

My mom and sister pulled up at the vet's office beside us. I brought Red over to their car, and they entertained him with a frozen Toppl in thr back seat while we went in.

Marge got out of the car after her first round of chicken nuggets and promptly squatted down to poop. It was solid.. not always a given with her, especially not lately.

She then sniffed the tree nearby. She looked happy to be doing it. She hadn't been interested in much of anything the past couple of weeks, so I stood and let her do her thing.  I couldn't deny her. 

We entered the office. It was quiet. They ushered us straight in to the room on the left. They had a nice thick towel down on the floor, but I brought my blue plaid blanket for her, one that had accompanied us on so many of our trips. I wound up leaving it with her. 

She laid down readily. She was tired.

Our vet marveled at her and all she did in her life, and how she was healthy throughout all of it, aside from her GI issues and a little back pain. She did such a good job in that moment, as weird as it might be to say.

We fed her some more chicken nuggets before she was sedated, and then off she went, peacefully, with her head on my left leg.

We brought Red in. He seemed more concerned with comforting us. He's such a good, sensitive boy. He tried so hard these past two weeks to help, I know it's been hard on him. 

And then off I went, with several glances back, to move forward without her. 

I am broken and tired right now. And I'll have more to say. But for now, I wanted this all in one place. 


4 comments:

Sue August 29, 2022 at 1:56 PM  

I'm so sorry. She always knew she was loved.

Tama-Chan, Benny, Vidock, Violette, Ollie, Hotesse & Heloise September 4, 2022 at 3:02 AM  

Phyll and Willow send us your way. We are sorry we had not mer before, but we share your sadness at your loss. Loving a dog, or any animal, is such a privilege.

Molly the Airedale September 4, 2022 at 5:58 AM  

I"m so sorry. Huge hugs♥

NAK and The Residents of The Khottage Now With KhattleDog! September 4, 2022 at 7:31 PM  

Ah yes - memories - albeit bittersweet this post brought back. Once I decided it was time for Khyra to get her wings - and made the appointment with Peaceful Pet Passage to come to the house, it was celebrate Khyra week - I wanted others to see and know that although it was sad, she needed to be afforded the dignity too few of us are allowed to have. I had chosen a late afternoon appointment, so we had our morning walk - complete with tears - as I talked to her the entire time - and as we told neighbors we encountered - and in the afternoon I tried to drink in all the rubbing of my hands thru her fur as I could - again, as I talked her and khried - we had gone thru so much together - she had helped me meet people thru our blogging - INCLUDING YOU AND NAM - and when Dr Riordan came that afternoon - and we settled her on a purple blanket on the patio looking over her yard at The Khottage we know she khrossed in peace and without pain - although as Dr Riordan commented she fought it true to the breed - they often require a bit more time to be sure -

Of course, there is my mantra - my belief - borrowed from Uncle Tupelo -
It's not forever....it's just...for now

Sorry so long but I wanted to share -
Please know she'll not be furgotten -

H&K,
NAK and Phyll

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